Just waiting for daughter dearest to come and whisk us both away to my son's....her brother's wedding. Still trying to figure out what emotion is present. Can't say excitement which seems odd, don't you think.
I have been engaging in a lot of deep soul searching these past few weeks which explains my lack of postings. I've been doing my morning pages and allowing those deeper sensations to come to the surface. I supposed that is where my emotions are residing which is probably a good thing....within. Not being influenced by the emotions of others even if they are completely out of their minds with JOY. Their emotions are THEIR emotions and I have finally stopped basing how I feel on how others in my realm are feeling. So excitement is not the emotion that is present.
A very deep calm and respect for who my son has become is perhaps closer to the truth. The lack of excitement does not diminish my love for him and his own beloved. I am feeling older and wiser as well......must have something to do with being the Mother of the Groom. It has been funny picking out an ensemble befitting my stature.
The whole outfit is understated and classy with of course my usually little sexy self thrown in for good measure............can't forget about HER...grin. But PEARLS??? I can't believe that this is what I chose for my jewelry and the perfect little cute open toed shoes. He will be proud and I guess that is what I want from him. A sense of pride in his Mom............ME!!
My daughter in law said to me the other day. She calls me Mamacita...
Mamacita. All you have to do is show up because if it wasn't for YOU, this would not be happening. You birthed the man I love into Being and I will forever thank you for that. I just want you to show up and be the beautiful woman that you are. I love you.
So off I go. To a weekend filled with family, love and a deep sense of gratitude and, yes, excitement for what life has yet in store for us all.
Namaste
Om Shanti
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