Mother and Son challenges

I don't like to do this but I am putting this OUT THERE as I am at a loss as to the current state of affairs between my son and his mother, that would be ME.

Said son just made me an over the top blissed out Grandmother. She is beautiful, our little Amelia Grace and she is now 3 1/2 weeks old. I have only seen her 3 times and each time, my heart has opened with more and more of all the Love that a new Soul emits. To hold a grand child is an amazing feeling. Especially when everyone says she looks just like me. Ahhh, heaven. However, and this is the hard part, my son does not trust either myself or my partner to hold his little Angel.

I kid you not. My son does not trust me to hold his daughter. When I was passing her to her grandfather (my partner, so in reality a step grandfather, but special all the same) my son started yelling at the two of us like we were bumbling idiots and came rushing into the kitchen which is where we were standing, with my daughter in law. He was acting like we would hurt her or drop her or something along those lines. I thought he was kidding. I just laughed. BUT, he wouldn't let it go.

We had been there for about 45 minutes, chatting and basking in the glow that is new life. He took her from me and I started to say "Hey, bucko, what on earth are you doing?" He went off on me. Everyone else thought he was also kidding but he wasn't. I tried to relax and feel o.k. about it all, but since they weren't making any openings for us to stay (it was close to dinner), we left.

I couldn't sleep that night and while a part of me was steaming mad, my heart was breaking and the hurt I am still feeling is worse than anything my children have ever thrown at me. I sent him an email and said he owed both of us an apology. We are both parents and I even ran a day care when my children were young. Not once did I ever drop or hurt either of my kids, nor the many kids who were entrusted into my care for many years.

I got an answer wherein he refused to apologize for anything he had said. He said that she is HIS daughter and he will protect her any way he wants to. PROTECT HER??? From me??? What on earth is this all about?

So, for the past three years, he has been pushing me away further and further. His wife said that he was too close to me so they/she felt he shouldn't talk to me so much. I was told that I am not to share anything personal with them, be it good or bad because, my sharing with my son, which I have always done is now taboo. And now, when I truly thought that his little angel would be a source of healing for us all, especially when my daughter in law actually opened up to me and said I was welcome to visit whenever I wanted to...........well, I guess that offering was simply words.

So now my dilemma. How do I react to my son now who is 33 - so not a little boy? I can not forget his belief that I am somehow a danger to my own granddaughter. What do I do?

And for the record..... I am a very healthy, outgoing 50 something year old. I have been in a committed relationship for the past 3 years with a man who loves me. I have a great little part time job, a small holistic practice, friends, a gym membership that I use regularly, I dance, entertain and am generally in a wonderplace in my life.

I would welcome your thoughts. What would YOU suggest is the most reasonable thing to do at this time. The tears are so near the surface constantly since this happened that it is having a very debilitating effect on my entire existence. I am very sensitive at the best of times but, well you get the picture.

Blessings to you all.